A deep guttural cry in anguish echoes and shakes the heavens. This startled the hawk, causing him to knock one of his floofy babies from the nest. God woke from a silent slumber and looks down to see what the matter was.  On a rock on this bluff God discovers a mess of a human piled in a heap. 

“What on Earth could you possibly want?” God asks, still grumpy from their nap.

Adam looked up, his eyes swollen and red, a nervous twitch forcing his chin to bob uncomfortably. With a small broken voice Adam answered “I’m lonely.” Realizing the attention he brought to himself and feeling self-conscious Adam stood up to collect himself, wiping a string of clear snot dangling from his nose with the back of his hand. His knees wobbled slightly. 

God looks around. Adam was in fact alone. “Where’s Eve?”

Adam’s throat clinched. A silence followed while Adam thought about how to avoid the question.

“We need to talk.” God says firmly. 

“Fuck. I know that line.” Adam said.

“Sit down, it’s just a talk.”

Adam slumped to the ground sitting cross-legged, his head down while he played with the frey of his muddy pant leg. “I don’t want to be here anymore. I want to go back to Eden.” 

“You’d be alone there too.” God says. 

Adam was able to choke out the words “Yeah, but at least I’d be able to…” before God interrupted “So where’s Eve?” 

“She won’t talk to me.” Adam relented. 

“What did you do this time?” God asks. 

“It wasn’t my fault!” Adam said, becoming defensive.

“Have you forgotten who you are talking to?” God says with a raised eyebrow.

“Right,” Adam released with a sigh. “I lied.”

“See. That wasn’t so hard, was it? Honesty is a good first step. Telling the truth is often enough to patch up misgivings.” God says comfortingly as they gently pick the poor baby bird up from the ground and place them gently back to snuggling in their nest. 

“Yeah, did that. It didn’t work.” Adam responded as he snapped a twig he picked up from the ground.  

“Oh? What was the lie?” God asks.

“That I didn’t sleep with her sister.” Adam admitted. 

“Yeah, I can see why she won’t talk to you. Well, maybe you two can work things out?” God offers. 

“She’s happy with her new husband.” Adam gave God a side eye.  “It’s been a while since we last talked.”

“Has it? Seems like yesterday.” God says. 

“And how long are your days exactly? I can only barely remember anything we talked about. And so much has happened! Did you lose track of time?”

“Ha. That’s cute. I’m sure you’ll meet someone who would make a perfect wife. Things happen in their own time.” God says. 

“I don’t want that kind of relationship.” Adam said. 

“What do you want?” God asks. 

“I prefer to be independent. Having someone else who feels the need and right to micro-mismanage my life all the time is a bit tiring after a while.” Adam said.

“Ok, be single. Easy solution.” God says. 

Adam stood up as he shouted. “But Im lonely!” The mother hawk fluttered her wings. God gave Adam an unforgettable look. 

“There are 7.8 billion of you. How can you still be lonely? Isn’t this what you wanted?” God asks. 

“I don’t really get along with any of them.” Adam said.

“I’m sure if you would get out more, you’d find they’re not all bad.” God says. 

“They don’t really get along with me either.” Adam said.

“Well, I’m sure that’s completely their fault.” God says sarcastically. “Just go out and meet people, I’m sure you will find you have plenty in common.”

“I’ve met enough. They’re all idiots.” Adam stunted.

“With that attitude I can’t imagine why anyone wouldn’t like you.” God says.

“I didn’t start out this way.” Adam said.

“No one ever does.” God says.

“I know I haven’t done as much as I could.” he quickly interjected, “I know I can do better. Please don’t abandon me like everyone else does. Please let me come back to Eden.”

“Why is it that everyone abandons you, do you think?” God asks.

“I don’t know. We just don’t connect, you know?” Adam said.

“Why do you have a problem connecting with others?” God asks.

“After dealing with them for a while I ended up fed up with it all. It doesn’t matter who I talk to, they don’t like what I have to say.” Adam said. 

“Such as?” God asks.